Its mothers day. The day to reflect on your mother and tell her how wonderful she has been to you. To thank her for birthing you into this wonderful, weird world. She can remove blood from your new white shirt, make you a meatloaf that makes your knees weak, and embarrass you in front of your friends, but never explain just why your terrified of clowns.
At what point does mom realize that she has gotten older? Is it when the hand painted cards are replaced by the hallmarked version of happiness? When the cards are now addressed "To Grandma"? Do you ever wonder if "mommie dearest" ever received a card? (that she didnt have to beat her child to get of course)
Why isnt there specials here in the local bar on mothers day? This is the south after all. You would think that here in the local drinking establishments there would be signs for "2 beers for a dollar for mothers!" or such wonderful deals as "half price lap dances for moms" and im sure the dj's reminded all the patrons to "tip the ladies well, its almost mothers day!"
Just how does one go about calling your ex-wife and wishing HER a happy mothers day? The urge to add another word to the end of mother is very strong, but may end the phone call without being able to talk to my offspring. And that of course, would end up with me going and trying to find mother day specials at the local watering hole (2 fer 1 on pigs feet!).
Well, time to call dear old mom and tell her i love her. Of course, this is hoping i dont call her and wake her up first.
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